I am feeling totally Canadian today, so Im gonna write this in english (and yes, I refuse to right english with a capital “E”).
Today, I miss you like I have done all these years without really noticing, or while totally denying it. But today I realize the full weight of your absence.
Today, I seriously feel like jumping on a plane and flying to you and talk to you and dance and shout and do stupid things. I really need that.
Today I realize, also, the irony behind the fact that one of “our” songs is called “Dancing With Myself”. That’s all I do sometimes, in moments in which you would have been right by me.
Today is that I feel like crying and not because I miss my friends in Mexico, or my family, or the food, or am just homesick. I feel like crying because I havent lived in the same (fucking) city as my best friend in almost 4 years.
Today is that I am seriously considering looking up universities in Barcelona. I would probably never study, but these next 4 years would rock the hardest if I moved there.
Today is that I am about to take a big step in my life and do not know if I should call you or accept, like I have done before, the fact that I am going to take all these steps without you knowing – or knowing of them 5 months later.
Today, I need to stop writing, think of something else, go places. I am feeling Canadian, and yet very very blue.