This is a heavily Rory x Dean episode, so just hang on while I barf.
A summary first, shall we: Rory has her first kiss and then she has her first date (ishhhh). Everyone in town (including both Gilmore girls) flips about it. Lorelai wears no underwear.
Luke: Hey, no tip?!
Lorelai: Here’s a tip: Serve your costumers!
Luke: Here’s another: Don’t sit on any cold benches!
SPOILER ALERT. I have seen all the seasons before, so I am reviewing retrospectively. SPOILER ALERT.
It’s true that an episode about a teen’s first kiss is cute. And yes, Dean is bland enough to make it adorable because they’re supposed to be all innocent and giddy and stuff. Rory is super cute and has an angel-face and does the best facial expressions ever as well. But an episode that centers Dean and Rory – both are characters that I am not too fond of – is too much for me to handle.
Lorelai is hilarious in this episode, though. Her no-underwear conversation, her rage about the wonky fridge, stalking Dean and dissing his lemon-handling manners, calling Rory the “supermarket slut”. She is also cute, because she is uncomfortable about Rory and “the boy thing” but she tries so hard to make Rory feel okay about talking about it. Which is basically my mom’s approach to a lot of things: I can tell sometimes she is out of her comfort zone, but she makes it okay for me to talk about it and live my life. I appreciate this a lot.
Lorelai: He kissed you and you said ‘Thank you’?
Lorelai: Well, that was very polite.
She also scares me a bit when she flips about Dean and when she gives him the talk because it seems uncharacteristic of her to me. Like, I understand that she got pregnant when she was Rory’s age, and that the fact that Dean “looks like Christopher” wigs her out and brings her back to her “rebellious” (all I remember of her is not all that rebellious: her parents were just really easy to rebel against) days. But she better than anyone should know that she is not like her mother, and Rory is not like her: nobody is running away from anybody. That talk she gives to Dean (“there’s not a place in 100 miles for you to hide”) is so intense. He is 16, Lorelai. If I was Dean I would have thrown up in the carpet from just how intimidated/weirded out I would be.
As much as I dislike him, I liked Dean’s response to Lorelai’s “talk”. He is a good kid, and he is not going anywhere. He also knows that Rory and Lorelai are tight, and he has something to say about that.
It makes me think though… I know the show is focused on the Gilmore girls and they are portrayed to be dearly loved and admired by everyone in that town – which is kind of unrealistic but I am willing to go with it because Lorelai built herself from the ground up there and always helped out and because Rory has an angel face and will put up with all the shenanigans the town throws on her. But like, let’s talk about Lindsey (if you don’t know who I am talking about, THIS IS A SPOILER about season 4 and 5): Lindsay also grew up in Stars Hollow, and her mom is apparently well-liked enough in town as well – Lindsey x Dean’s wedding is in the town square, everyone seems to be invited, etc. If Lorelai’s threat of everyone’s eyes being on Dean if he fucks up, why did no one say anything about Dean treating his wife like shit and cheating on her with Rory in season 4/5? Not that I advocate for town gossip, but it seems weird. Why does the town not point at him and chase him through the street when he throws a tantrum when Rory doesn’t say I love you? And later in the middle of the dance marathon? I mean, everyone was on Jess’s ass when he crashed Rory’s car. Like, why does the town give zero craps about Lindsey, why does the town not live up to its gossipy reputation where it matters?
I don’t want to talk about this episode anymore because the Rory x Dean relationship is boring. There are plenty of articles and blogs on how “dreamy” Dean is and how perfect he is for Rory. This is not it. If you want to rant about him, though, please join me. Always.
But, but, but, that last scene gives me feelings. My mom and I would also stay up super late with me telling her all about my day and the people I liked and what happened at X or Y party. I miss her sometimes, most often watching Lorelai being awesome in ways that mirror my growing up ❤