Today I (re)watch: Gilmore girls, 3.19

I feel pain in my heart just thinking about reviewing this episode. There is also a lot happening, so this one is long.

Lane has her first gig! Rory wants to go to prom with Jess but Jess is not graduating. Oops. Lorelai runs into Max at a Chilton meeting. Jess is a super gross dickweasel.

SPOILER ALERT. I have seen all the seasons before, so I am reviewing with future events in mind. SPOILER ALERT.

x x

Rory plans prom, but Jess can’t do prom
I feel sad whenever I watch Rory being super excited about prom because she really wanted to do prom with Lane, and Jess really wanted to take her. I think they – Lane, Jess, Dave, Rory – make an awesome foursome, too.

Oh, Jess. Did he really think he’d catch up? I mean, he has proven more than a few times that he is pretty self-destructive, has zero belief in himself, and apart from Rory, he has no one who really actually does believe in him and his potential. I can see myself skipping school too, in that scenario. There is nothing there holding his interest. It is a stupid move, but I kind of understand it maybe.
I understand why he felt weird and off about telling Rory. She offered to help him catch up at least a few times, and she is all smart and geeky and academically (and socially) well-adjusted and he is flunking out and not graduating. But seriously, he could have handled it better.

We are introduced to Chin Chin and Pow Pow, two dogs that Michel decided to give a home to. Amazing. I am sad we didn’t get to meet them.

Lor runs into Max at a Booster club meeting
Oh, man. I can not only picture the feeling but my stomach remembers it: when you run into an ex, an ex you have unresolved things with, or some sexual tension still there. It can be super awkward. And Max acts so smooth and playing it cool. On the other hand though, what did Lorelai expect, as far as eye-contact and staying to talk or whatever? Lorelai left him at the altar, and the last time they ran into each other and made out, Max was clearly caught off guard and left with feelings all up in his face. I would not want to make eye contact if I were Max either, and I would run off as soon as I could.
Lorelai is a fucking mess at this point, and being very selfish. Max was trying to set up boundaries that she won’t respect. That’s not okay.

You may find yourself asking (or surprised at how you hadn’t noticed): Where is Alex? He just disappears. In case you were wondering, he is gone now. Forever.

Party – and band gig, and absolute disaster – time!
I am so glad I am past the age where everyone thinks alcohol is super edgy. You know the dude who gets them the beer keg because he just turned 21 and he goes on and yells “21!” every 5 minutes? That was pretty much my entire first year of university living in the dorms. I do find it hilarious and very relatable how Kyle (the host) wants to seem all hardcore by throwing the party but hides all the valuables, asks people to use coasters and to pick up chips they drop on the floor.
Young Chui is there. All the time. Lane could be more clear and assertive, to be honest. But they agreed on something and Young Chui should respect that, and respect the fact that Lane doesn’t want him. Dave getting mad at *her* is bullshit. Get mad at Young Chui, at Mrs Kim. I don’t know. It is not Lane’s fault. And like, we are socialized as women to accommodate men’s feelings and never assert ourselves if it would make men uncomfortable. I would never blame an 18-year old girl for not having the heart/guts to tell a dude to fuck off with his entitled feelings.

Heh. Downing down beers to avoid her boy troubles. I have definitely been Lane. I do have to say, I have never called my dad while super drunk to tell him any equivalent of what Lane told her mom (that she is drunk, playing in a band, in love with Dave?!)

Jess is THE WORST WORST WORST. Dean is the second worst.
Wow. I had totally forgotten just how much of an asshole pissbaby Jess was at this party. I get it that he is upset about having flunked out but A) he could have said something before the party (like, “hey, girlfriend, these feelings are happening, and I don’t feel like being there at all, or could we just go for half an hour because”. And B) can’t he be at least civil for the duration of the party? Occasionally playing the troubled bad boy to jerk off your ego is one thing, being an ass to your girlfriend and basically making everything about your feelings is another. And I mean, he never does anything that Rory wants to do, or he does it half-assed, or begrudgingly. ugh.

OH BOY. I have a lot of feelings about the scene where Rory and Jess are up in Kyle’s room. CONTENT WARNING for unwanted sexual advances. They start making out, go horizontal, and Rory asks Jess to wait, and to stop, which he doesn’t until Rory pushes him away. Jess reacts all upset/confused/”outraged” that Rory didn’t want to have her sexual debut at a random party, in a room where anyone could walk in (and let’s remember this is Rory, not to say that it is wrong to have your sexual debut like this, but she probably would not at this point in time)? He snaps and tells Rory that he didn’t ask her to come into that room where he was sulking – basically saying she must have wanted sex if she walked in?! FUCK OFF, FOREVER.
She storms out wanting to cry, Jess walks after her realizing what a ginormous dickhead he had just been. Rory runs into Dean who asks her what happened, and before she even says anything – and I mean, she wasn’t obligated to explain anything – Jess catches up with the two and says “Figures.” What the hell did he mean by that?! What the hell is that?! His priority here is not checking in to see if Rory is okay, to apologize for what just happened. Once he sees Dean, Jess’ priority becomes making this all about the other dude who has zero to do with anything.
And also, before she even says anything, Dean assumes whatever the hell he assumed (that Jess tried something that Rory didn’t want, probably?) and goes off and, even after Rory asks him to *not*, takes it upon himself to randomly punch Jess? I am not saying it is a bad reaction: if a person tried to assault a friend/ex/pretty much whomever, I would want to punch them too. But thinking the way Dean thinks, that Rory is still Dean’s to be jealous and controlling over, it is kinda gross..? Then Jess punches back, and they start fighting. Rory keeps screaming for them to stop, but by now it is not about her (was it ever?!), but about their bruised and fragile masculinity, and their competition to have be the bigger dick. So to hell with Rory, the entire house, the party, etc.

Various things piss me off, but one of them is that, for Dean, it is never about making sure Rory is okay, or how she is feeling. It is about him making everything out to be like his the white night defending his princess’ honor or some shit. Another is that when the cops break up the party, Rory is the one to call out to Jess – maybe to try to talk? – and he just makes an “I’m hurt” face and walks off?! Instead of fucking apologizing or at the very least telling her to maybe talk in the morning, or something?! And that’s how the episode ends, making that hurt look, figuratively (and narrative-wise) speaking, the “last word”?! GROSS GROSS GROSS.

And on that cheerful note, we say goodbye for now.


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