Die, Jerk. No, not you. That’s just the title of the episode.
Rory is starting out at the Yale Daily News, and has to review a ballet performance as an assignment. Somebody writes DIE, JERK with permanent marker on Rory’s dorm door, so the suitemates try to investigate who it was. Jason continues to try to get on Lorelai’s and Emily’s good side. Lane freaks out because Mrs Kim wants to send Dave a present.
SPOILER ALERT. I have seen all the seasons before, so I am reviewing with future events in mind. SPOILER ALERT
I am very uncomfortable with calling sex workers euphemisms like “women of less than reputable morals” or things like that. First of all because sex work is perfectly valid and respectable and does not need a euphemism, and it has zero to do with morality. Married men cheating on their wives, on the other hand…
I find it kind of odd that they would have roulettes with the name of Richard and Jason’s company printed out. They’re an insurance company, and roulettes and gambling feel like they’re saying “well, doing business with us is kind of like playing with chance.”
Rory reviews the ballet
Danny Strong is here! I like Danny Strong. He is the editor of the Yale Daily News. He criticizes Rory’s first piece, and edits the hell out of her second one, and wow! Rory is used to being perfect and being treated like everything she does is perfect. I remember that feeling vaguely. It’s awful to be a star at things when growing up and then getting slapped in the face by reality and by actual greatness that you lack.
I know, Rory. I know.
We don’t see the ballet, but we see her reactions, and Lorelai’s, and from that we can assume it was terrible: they fall and slip and wince and the costumes are wrong for the people. Rory writes what she thinks, and apparently she writes it in an extremely funny, but very insensitive, way.
Lane is not ready to marry Dave
Mrs Kim tells Lane that she has a gift for Dave. Lane freaks out because the gift is apparently a marriage jug, and so Lane thinks Mrs Kim is sending a message there.
It turns out Mrs Kim had made up the story about that jug being a marriage jug. HAHA. Best twist.
Lorelai runs into Nicole
Lorelai is so awkward around Luke’s girlfriends and exes. It’s funny. Lorelai is way too nosey though, Luke’s love life is none of her business, and she gets mad at him for not informing her of what’s happening with his love life. Pssht.
Paris assembles all the suitemates to think of a “counter-attack”. She has already ‘taken care of’ her top five enemies in the building they live. She’s ready.
Random student: You are very brave. If you hear the rustle of tulle coming up behind you, RUN.
On the one hand, though, if the ballerina can’t take some criticism, she should not be performing. On the other hand, there is a way to critique a thing, be honest and funny, and be somewhat respectful of the individual people who worked hard on the thing.
While the way Rory wrote about her may have been unprofessional (calling her a hippo?! who are you, Rory, Perez Hilton?!), yelling at a reviewer because your baby feels were hurt is also unprofessional and kind of pathetic.
Jason wants to be invited to dinner
Jason is trying to get into Lorelai’s pants, and Emily’s good side. He manages to manipulate Emily into staying for dinner. Good on him?
He tries to talk to Emily about the advantages of technology. Silly him. Like that’s gonna get Emily to like him.
They reminisce about the camp at which Jason and Lorelai met. Apparently Christopher too. Lor remembers because that’s the camp she got kicked out of for trying to “liberate the horses”. Except in season one or two she mentions getting kicked out of summer camp once for refusing to call the counselors nature names. So Lor has gotten kicked out of two summer camps! I respect that.
I have to say, though, asking Emily for restaurant recommendations and using them to flirt with Lorelai, is pretty good. Not groundbreaking, but good.
Lorelai: Would that be weird, for us to go out?
Rory: …All three of us?
That’s it. Next up, a football game! Yup.