Today I (re)watch: Gilmore girls, 5.03

So much happens here! Richard and Emily are still separated (by the pool, as Lorelai jokes about), so the girls are having drinks and hors-d’oeuvres with grandpa at the pool house and then dinner at the main house. Awkward. Lorelai is weirded out by the town’s seemingly indifferent attitude towards her relationship with Luke, until a town meeting is called. Someone dies, but not brought down by anyone’s vagina.

SPOILER ALERT. I have seen all the seasons before, so I am reviewing with future events in mind. SPOILER ALERT.

Richard has a valet
Or a butler. Or a bartender. He has a helping person named Robert. I don’t appreciate Lorelai’s joke about Richard’s “special friend”. Not because the suggestion of queerness is offensive, but the fact that this show, on top of showing no explicitly queer characters, makes constant jokes out of the suspicion of queerness, is offensive.
The arrangement with the grandparents is super awkward for everyone. And they’re fighting a lot. It breaks my heart.

At some point we also see Emily alone sitting silently at her big-ass dining table. It’s so sad.

Rory: To go potty is an action, to go to the bathroom is to go into a specific place. 
Lorelai: I hate the word “potty”.
Rory: Well, what did you teach me to say?
Lorelai: Bathroom. (Rory: You did?) Yes, of course.
Rory: I’m 2, and I say, “Mommy, I have to go to the..”
Lorelai: The room where legends die.

Lorelai and Luke, the early years

“Gee, Carson, thanks.”

Rory: A real date? Finally! What are you gonna wear?
Lorelai: Hmmm. Glass slippers, a backwards baseball cap…
Rory: And nothing else.
Lor: Exactly.

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Lor is a bit hurt that the town isn’t talking about her and Luke. I guess you do expect a certain level of caring – which, in their own way, is what gossip is sometimes – from your quaint little town. I wouldn’t know.

Eeeek with the “casual” transphobia from the town gossippers. “Did you hear that Marilyn Horne is actually a man?”

Asher dies of a heart attack

x x

I mean, it is an insensitive and inappropriate question to ask, but it’s Asher. I don’t care about him. On the other hand, imagine being 20 and having your boyfriend, who you are in love with, die, while on vacation with you. That’s fucked up. Poor Paris, my sweet darling.

Marty and his (not) friends
Marty and Rory are talking about their summers and they run into some dudes who Marty has bartended for. One of them is Logan, one of them is Colin, and Finn. Colin was an absolute jerk to Marty. What a classist, ellitist, insecure little fucknugget.

Luke has a Luke’s
Luke takes Lor to a diner-type place, and walks right in without waiting to be seated.

Lorelai: Is this like a mafia thing? (Luke: Excuse me?) The whole ‘coming in, special table’. Are you gonna have to whack someone before the soup course?
Luke: No. I’ve filled my whacking quota for the week. *sighs* Dirty?
Lorelai: Extremely.

The owners really know Luke. Wow. It is kind of brave of him to bring Lorelai on their first date? Like, really vulnerable? Oh, Luke.

He recalls the day they first met. It was at Luke’s, and Lorelai gave him a horoscope and told him to hold on to it. And he did, for eight years. I don’t know what kind of voodoo this show put on me but, to this day, after watching this episode a thousand times, I still squeal and say “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD” every time I see him handing her that horoscope he kept. I am kind of ashamed of myself right now. Let’s move on.

Luke: Lorelai, this thing we’re doing here – me, you -, I just want you to know, I’m in. I am all in. Does that, uh, are you, scared?

I would be, kind of. Not in a “RUN!” kind of way. But in a, “wow, I am holding a human heart” way.

The next morning they wake up, and Lorelai inadvertedly walks into a diner full of people. Oh Lor. She thought that no one would open if Luke wasn’t opening himself. Surprise!

x x
Luke: Well, you wear crazy outfits all the time.
Lorelai: And they usually include pants.

A wake for Asher. And a Logan Huntzberger.
Paris wants to have a wake for Asher at Yale, and makes flyers for Rory to put up. On her way to doing just that, she runs into Marty’s non-friends again, the most relevant being Logan. Damn Matt Czuchry (the actor) and his charm. Logan is clearly a jerk, though. Making classism into a “debate”, as if there were two objectively debatable sides to being a dickweasel.
He is trying to half-flirt, like a jackass, and half-debate that he has the right to treat people like shit, while telling Rory she looks cute when she’s angry?! Oh fucking hell. I want to know how he managed to grow on me. Damn Matt Czuchry, I’m tellin’ ya.

Awww. Paris is smoking a cigar in her room because she wants to smell like him again. It’s devastating.

Lots of people show up to the wake, thinking it’s a weird kind of theme party. Oh, college. Even Emily ends up showing up in a desperate attempt to “out-separate” Richard (an “if he goes out, I can go out!” type of deal).
Marty helps Rory set everything up, and we see the first sign of feelings on his part. He asks Rory if she has a boyfriend, and she replies that she doesn’t know.
I am so upset that even after how shitty Dean treated her last time they saw each other – with Dean saying that he “threw it” all away for “someone” who broke up with him for some other guy (he is obsessed with Jess, jesus fuck!) – she is still not sure if they’re a thing, but she wants them to be. And he is a trashcan.

The town discusses the “possible negative ramifications of the inn owner and the diner owner dating”

Luke: What the hell is he talking about?
Lorelai: Well, he’s not happy with our “co-mingling.”

The town meetings are so ridiculous, I love them. After some “debate”, Luke shuts everyone up and tells them that if there’s a break-up, he’ll just move, so no one has to decide and the whole town can be pink.

Taylor: Can we have your word on that?
Luke: You can have my word and a couple of middle fingers on that, Taylor.
Taylor: Get that down. We have his word. And leave out the part about the fingers.

The episode ends with the beginning of one of the worst things to happen to me, personally: Dean and Rory, the later years.


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