I like this number! I like Michael Irby. We are also approaching the mid-season finale (I hate that term, though, it’s not a finale at all, but it’s a half-way point of excitement, if you will) which is really good. C.O.D is mostly okay filler, but Bear gets to help! I love it when Bear helps.
I have watched the whole show before, so SPOILERS MIGHT HAPPEN. Big spoilers will be blanked out but references and irrelevant spoilers are going to be out in the open.
Probably because of the kind of television I watch, I assumed the title of C.O.D. would stand for “cause of death”, but in this case it’s “cash on delivery”, like how cabs work. That makes more sense. #TheMoreYouKnow
The number is Fermin Ordoñez, a former baseball player from Cuba, who is now a cab driver who is broke as hell and is trying to get his family to the US, but is being ripped off by some guy who keeps promising and blackmailing him and shit. What a jerk.
I don’t know how I feel about american shows portraying Cuba as this evil place of horrors and poverty and oppression. I don’t know how true it would be but neither do white american writers. It’s not their place. Most of the dialogue between Fermin and John is so stiff, and the music so cheesy, like they want us to give John a fucking blowjob for being the good white guy to save the poor immigrant family from their horrible country, or something. I don’t like this.
Harold: I am sending you his GPS logs for the last 24 hours.
Carter: His GPS logs? Which I’m sure you obtained by submitting an official request from the TLC.
Harold: Not quite. But if it would make you feel any better I could hack into their network and make it look like I did…
Oh, Harry. I still do not appreciate him listening into Carter’s date with Cal Beecher. It’s not cute, it’s a violation of her privacy and it’s just really creepy. Unless maybe he didn’t and he is just teasing her, but that’s rude.
The MPoV moves our attention to HR’s organizational tree, lets us know many of them are either dead or in jail, and leads us to a conversation between Simmons and Quinn, who discuss Elias cutting ties with HR, Donnelly (FBI) and his investigation into their upper management, and them needing money from somewhere. They decide to try again with Elias. That fails, though, because Elias is tired of their shit. Which, to be honest, who isn’t? Fusco is also tired of their shit, so he tells Simmons to eat hot poop. Problem is, Simmons knows things, and is now ready to make Fusco’s “past come back to haunt him”, as every show ever puts it. Fusco tries to get John’s help at some point in the episode but John is busy. Poor Fusco, my child.
John: You’re a baseball reference machine, Finch. You should get out more, take in a game once in a while.
Harold: Who says I don’t?
Their banter, and Harold’s persistence in keeping his mystery, makes my life a little brighter every day.
So the deal with the cab driver in trouble is that he accidentally got a laptop with a program or database with a lot of information that could be an awful breach and a threat to National Security (whatever that even means, I don’t know), and now the Estonian mob want his ass dead along with anybody who touched that laptop, which is a lot of people, since everyone keeps selling it and finding more information about how powerful it is, and then selling it again. It’s an entertaining chain that we get to follow along with Harold and John. We also get a cute badass Estonian lady, Irina Kapp, who is the one to get the kill order for all the people. I have a thing for beautiful murderous ladies, apparently.
At some point Irina Kapp catches up to Harold, and in an unrealistic but entertaining showdown, John arrives just in time to save his favorite puppy, and also Bear, who intimidates and bites the hell outta some mobsters, and the cab driver swings his bat and hits a bad guy with a ball. Everyone gets to hit somebody. Woot! Fun for the whole family.
In the end, Fermin gets his family to the US with the help of the queen of my heart, Joss Carter. Honestly Carter and John’s friendship is so pleasant to see, too. No, it’s not a romance, and do not even try to fight me on this one.