Today I (re)watch: Gilmore girls, 4.22

It’s time for the trial-run for the Dragonfly Inn! So exciting. Lorelai is trying to figure out what’s next in terms of Luke and their maybe-date at Liz’ wedding. Dean is being the fucking worst. Jason seems to be unclear on the meaning of breaking up. Kirk is concerned about sleeping in the same bed with his girlfriend, Lulu.

SPOILER ALERT. I have seen all the seasons before, so I am reviewing with future events in mind. SPOILER ALERT.

Lorelai doesn’t know if she is dating Luke

Well, knocking everything down is usually a sign of “everything is okay”. Right?

Richard and Emily are still being weird and secretive about being separated
…So Lor invites them to the trial-run at the inn. Evil, but it is what she knows: manipulation > direct dialogue. Poor, uh, everyone. The grandparents are probably having a tough time with the separation, and with not being able to talk to anyone about it, and Lor is having a hard time about her parents not being together anymore, at least for the time being. And Rory, her family stability is always kind of under attack? *sigh*

It’s still kind of cruel, what Lor did.

Kirk wants Luke to look out for him at night

x x

I don’t like how they play Kirk’s night terrors as a joke. It must be awful to have those night terrors. But then again, most of Kirk’s quirks are played for comedic relief. So anyway, Luke agrees to look out for him during the trial-run. I love love love Lulu and Kirk. They’re so weird and adorable.

Michel: I am not yanking the pictures off the wall!
Kirk: Well, apparently, you’ve never been in love.

Dean is being the fucking worst
He has zero right to be mad, or at least to act mad about Jess arriving at Rory’s dorm the other night. She owes him no explanations whatsoever, about anything. Even if Jess and Rory were back together, even if they went to her room and had sex for 48 hours straight and then he left her and never came back or, uh, whatever the hell. Dean has no right to get all pissy about anything concerning Rory’s life. It makes me so mad. And Rory is still trying to pacify him, to make him not upset, to reassure him that everything in the world revolves about his stupid-ass feelings. I don’t blame her. There is a pattern with these types of toxic people, and it is hard to break it.
The dialogue tries to make it so that he was just concerned because Jess was not great for Rory and blah, blah, blah. Jealousy and possessiveness is NOT caring. Dean was the worst piece of shit to Rory in many ways, and he is now being the worst piece of shit to his wife as well. UGHHHH.

Dean and Rory…
UgH. I can’t even bring myself to watch it, or write it. It’s so gross, so not okay. Dean catches up with Rory at Rory’s house and tells her it’s not working out with Lindsey (true or not, what cheating dickweasel hasn’t used that line?!) Telling Rory that you’re not happy and that she’s (Lindsey) not happy and HAVING SEX WITH RORY are two very separate things, and not cause and effect! Again, if you’re unhappy, talk. If you’re really unhappy, break up. And I mean, believe whatever the hell y’all want, but he wasn’t gonna leave Lindsey, while he was having sex with Rory (not there yet, I know, but I needed to say it.)

And like… I don’t want to blame Rory because it isn’t Rory’s responsibility to remain faithful to Lindsey. But I can’t help but think, can she really fucking believe what she says to Lorelai, “Aren’t you glad it happened with someone who’s good and who loves me”? HE IS MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE. YOU HAVEN’T BEEN TOGETHER IN ANY WAY FOR TWO YEARS. When did he say he loved you – when he was about to climax? Like, get the fuck out. I know I shouldn’t be mad at her and it is probably internalized misogyny. It definitely is. I am mad at her in the same way I would be mad at a friend of mine for “not knowing any better”. Which is not fair.
He is not her Dean. He hasn’t been for a long while now. And I am especially upset when Rory says that he loves her and not Lindsey and that Lindsey is bad for him. I am sorry but, who is being a cheating, lying asshole? Lindsey or Dean? I am sorry but, uh, Lor is right, being the “other woman” who blames the wife for “pushing” the husband to cheat is a really low place to be.
I don’t like how Lorelai jumps to judging and calling Rory out though. I get it, that conversation might need to happen. But does it need to happen then? She is ensuring that Rory won’t open up, and will be on the defensive about it, for sure. Which is what happens. I get it, I would be mad maybe, disappointed for sure. But it is also more on Dean than it is on her?! Let’s think about that more often. I think all this time I jump to being mad at Rory more than Dean because I expect nothing good or pleasant from Dean. But everyone expects Rory to be perfect, which no one can be. So there’s that.
It also occurs to me that I categorize cheating when the couple is married as an entirely separate and much higher offense than when a couple isn’t married. I want to deconstruct that in my head, since I don’t really hold marriage as a superior form of family, or relationship, in other arenas. I am not saying cheating with a married person is no biggie, I am more asking why is it a “less biggie” when a contract which is not state-sanctioned is violated? Why is infidelity that much worse when it is within marriage, within monogamy? I don’t know. I do not know.

Jason is also a fucknugget
Lorelai very specifically and clearly broke up with him. What makes him think they were on a break? And showing up on such an important day for Lorelai? Completely thoughtless and selfish. Ugh.

Even worse, he goes on and tells Luke that they (Jason and Lor) are still together?! What the fuck. Anyhoo.

Luke and Lorelai kiss..! “Will you just stand still?” is still one of my favorite pre-kiss lines in all of time. (It’s not even that good a line. I know this. I sincerely apologize for all the fangirling to come.)